My Favorite Facebook quotes I've posted over the years.
1. When will the
guest on talk shows learn to stay seated til they get to the commercial
break?!? You are not kicked off the stage; wait til they go to commercial! Have
you not seen an interview on tv before? Shiiesh
I'll be ok, but c'mon now.
I'll be ok, but c'mon now.
2. Remember
growing up in class, and you had to read silently, but you'd just look around
the class instead of reading; Remember that?!? Well that's why your dumb now!
4. I used to love cougars, but now that I'm getting older, I think I just call them peers now.
5. Thanks Martin Luther King Jr; I got to save some quarters in the meters today. Also, that whole Civil Rights thing was pretty cool too.
6. Should I get a new bed?!? I'll sleep on it.
7. You know
what amuses me... the unnecessary-extreme workout guy. You know the guy; doing
deltoid reps with 1 arm while holding an umbrella with the other, wearing a
25lb. chest pack & barefoot shoes; all while balancing on a medicine ball.
They make me laugh. The more extreme the better the results!!!!
8. Finally own a Smartphone now; Samsung Galaxy s3. It feels like the jump from pager to cell phone, or diapers to underwear; a definite learning curve. Soon I'll get this Smartphone and underwear thing down!
9. You ever
sometimes just look in the mirror and think "Fuck yeah!"?
10. Who do I
talk to about starting a new HOLIDAY? How about we start a "RETURN YOUR
FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS SHIT BACK DAY!" I'M NOT REFERRING TO ANYONE OR
ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR, but a lot of stuff just seems to disappear! Who's with
me?
11. Harder
person to say "No" to: Homeless guy asking for change or to girl
scouts selling cookies?
I've been dealing with both a lot this month. I think I'm gonna just buy the cookies and give them to the homeless; everyone is happy! Samoas #1, by the way.
I've been dealing with both a lot this month. I think I'm gonna just buy the cookies and give them to the homeless; everyone is happy! Samoas #1, by the way.
12. You never see Zombies drink
water; just eating people. How do they stay hydrated??? I'm calling bullshit!...My
concerns on a Monday.
13. You know
what Facebook needs, pictures of girls with their hand on their hip! I wish
someone would spread the word about that,
14. Why does a sandwich taste better when you cut it diagonally? What is the science behind that?
15. SO EXCITED; Just started a new toothbrush today. Isn't that the best!?! Well, some of you are probably like "Hey, what about crack-cocaine?" Well valid point, but I'm trying to illustrate a metaphorical picture here!
16. Ha,
apparently they found Noah's ark! I new my name would be #1 on Google search
someday:) What if they discover that he wasn't trying to save animals from the
flood, but he was actually just a big bestiality enthusiast? OH NO!
17. I hate when people say "Real
men wear pink." Like it means the guy is more in touch with his feminine
side; which, Ironically, somehow makes him more of a man?! I'm not wearing
pink. I won't even wear salmon!
